Kenz in Knox: Help Where You Can, Pray Where You Can't

This past week we went by an investigator's house that we hadn't seen in a long while and she was sitting on her front porch... score! It was definitely a right place right time situation because this woman needed a listening ear and between Sister Beare and I we had four so it worked out. She told us about her growing up life. She is the youngest of 11 children, her oldest sibling is currently in his 80's. This woman is almost 40 but her father was formerly married and quite a bit older than her mom... 20 years or more older. As a child she was beaten and abused and ultimately at 11 years old dropped off at the courthouse in town with a black trash bag. Ever since then she has been a fighter. She was placed in over 15 houses growing up and ended up graduating high school, got married, had two kids, got divorced, is still working to get through college and working at that same courthouse she was once dropped off at. Needless to say she has an amazing story, still in the making. It would be really great if the climax could be that she accepted the gospel and found home. Because the most heartwrenching thing she said during her entire retelling, in my opinion, was "I was laying in bed thinking the other night that no where I have ever lived has felt like home." Oh my gosh!!!!! Rip my heart to shreds!!!!!

We were able to testify that this gospel feels like home, this message leads us back to home, coming to church feels like home. And invited her to church. She went to North Carolina to be with an aunt this weekend but hopefully in the future she will be able to experience the feeling of home that church and this gospel brings. It's so true, even though I am 1,500 miles away from home, I feel it every time I walk in the church building doors that I am home. This ward here feels like family sometimes that is the only thing that gets me through a tough, hard, way too long week is: walking through those doors and knowing I am home. And that I'll get about 20 hugs from my Greeneville family and that it's exactly where I am supposed to be. Everyone should feel that, it's why we are out here, to help people come in and come back home. That's ultimately the purpose of life, helping each other back home.

I love in Elder Uchtdorf's last conference talk he addresses the inner desire we all have to return home. It's called "A Yearning For Home" in it he says:

I believe that every man, woman, and child has felt the call of heaven at some point in his or her life. Deep within us is a longing to somehow reach past the veil and embrace Heavenly Parents we once knew and cherished.
Some might suppress this yearning and deaden their souls to its call. But those who do not quench this light within themselves can embark on an incredible journey—a wondrous migration toward heavenly climes.

I LOOOOVE THAT!!! This life is an incredible journey, a wondrous migration, we are all on together, at different points with different paths and bumps in the road but yet all headed toward the same destination. And we can know for a surety that when we are headed behind and for the Savior that we are going the right way.

During another part of our conversation with this woman we were talking about many of her family members who have strayed from their paths. She said it has been horrific for her to see, to watch nearly every family member she has enter and exit jails and prisons. But she recognized that her reality didn't need to be the same, she said "That would be the easy way out." She had to cut ties and work to build a life greater than she had been brought up in. It's not glamorous by any means but she has what she needs and her life is hers.

She talked about how she still wants to help her family but she also doesn't want the evil influences and temptations they are entangled in in her life and in her children's lives. She talked about how she has to love them from a distance.

I found myself saying to her, "We can only help where we can and then pray where we can't" I don't know if that is a quote from someone else or where that came from but I love it!!!! We can't change people and we can't want something more for them, they have to choose to change and have a desire to be better. Only they can as President Monson would say "rise above mediocrity," all we can do is help and then pray.

I have seen that so much in my life but especially in my mission. Prayer has been my saving grace, after all we can do, we pray.

We help people come to church, and then pray they come.
We help people learn, and pray they feel.
We help people discern, and pray they trust.
We help people pray, and pray they continue.
We help people have hope, and pray they have faith.
We help people read, and pray they understand.

The list goes on and on. I am so grateful for prayer and the way it has changed my life.
I know that prayers are answered. There have been too many times to count that mine have.

I love this poem:

I know not by what methods rare,

But this I know, God answers prayer.

I know that He has given His Word,

Which tells me prayer is always heard,

And will be answered, soon or late.

And so I pray and calmly wait.

I know not if the blessing sought

Will come in just the way I thought;

But leave my prayers with Him alone,

Whose will is wiser than my own,

Assured that He will grant my quest,

Or send some answer far more blest.

- Eliza M. Hickock

It was read my first Sunday in Greeneville and has blessed my life ever since, even now nearly six months later. I am forever grateful for the experiences I have had and shared with so many here in Tennessee. I am grateful for this wonderful journey were are all on, and for the chance we have to help one another where and when possible and pray where and when it's not possible.

I love y'all and am so deeply grateful for your prayers and love and support. They mean the world and are felt and received with gladness.

Love and pray for y'all too!

Love,
Hermana Hall

Happy Valentine's Day