This week as I have been working really hard, Heavenly Father has been teaching me that no matter how weak I am, what mistakes I make, what miscommunications I'm involved in, His work will still move forward. His children are His and He loves each one of them just as much as He loves me.
There is a missionary that I really look up to that would always say "We aren't important enough to get in the way of one of Heavenly Father's children's salvation." That helps me not be so hard on myself if and when I mess up, or think I do... He will provide a way, always. Christ knows what it feels like to be on both ends of a miscommunication and wants to help resolve it. He is the Prince of Peace and can bring that peace into my life and into those I come in contact with. I am beyond convinced that I was called to the South to become more humble. I have referenced it before but Ether 12:27 has been ringing through my ears the past few days with a specific emphasis on the word humble.
"And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be HUMBLE, and my grace is sufficient to all men that HUMBLE themselves before me; for if they HUMBLE themselves before me and have faith in me then will I make weak things become strong unto them." If faith is known to precede miracles I think it is safe to say humility precedes growth. I have had quite a few humbling experiences this week that have ultimately resulted in growth and learning opportunities and have helped me add a little more light into my life and the lives of others. That light being the light of knowledge, the light of the gospel, and the light of Christ.
Our eternigator that is on date for baptism had his interview for baptism. Our district leader asked us if it was ok if he scheduled it, we were a little hesitant because there were a few things on his teaching record we wanted to clarify but ultimately decided they could go through with the interview before we had a followup lesson if it worked with both of their schedules. They scheduled a time and let us know when it was. We hoped all would go well and were a little confused at how we should reschedule our lesson plan but went ahead and made a backup plan. The morning before the interview our District Leader called us up and said he read in Preach My Gospel a section that talks about not scheduling an interview with someone you feel needs additional preparation. He suggested we might still go ahead with our previously planned lesson and he would try to reschedule the interview for next week. That sounded simple and like a good plan... Unfortunately it was too simple and too good to be true. What ended up happening is the elders apparently called and didn't receive a response so they texted our investigator's wife informing her of the change and went about their day. The problem was she didn't receive the text until her husband was already at the church waiting for his interview. Long story short we got mixed up in this crazy miscommunication and got chewed out for not being considerate and thinking that he wasn't prepared enough. Which wasn't the case... but we sat holding the phone on speaker mode and listened as she expressed her concerns, frustrations, and fears. Part of me was really defensive and wanted to stop and be like "Whoa whoa whoa you only know half the story..." But the other part of me (the side that won out, which I'm so glad for) was more considerate and decided to think about how the situation would look like from her shoes:
-Her husband has been taking lessons for 2.5 years, two and a half YEARS!
- She wants the Priesthood in her home
-She knows he is a stubborn man
-She is fearful he will think that we don't want him in this church and will turn his back and leave it behind
-She was thinking we thought he wasn't ready.
-She doesn't believe that anyone who commits to baptism is ever completely convinced of everything about the gospel
-She knows when he commits to something it is because he is ready and sincere and committed
-She loves him
And you know what she is absolutely right. Every one of her concerns and frustrations and fears were absolutely valid and absolutely right. It humbled me, to the point where I had no desire to fight back and prove our point but instead listen and humbly say we were sorry. Thankfully we were able to explain our position and help her understand that it wasn't that we didn't think he was ready or strong enough, we just wanted to make sure we had done as much as we could to prepare him. For heavens sakes we are 19 year old girls trying to manage people's salvations here! Yes we are called to be representatives of Christ but that in no way means we are perfect nooooooo way. She was able to better see the situation through our eyes and we were able to better see it through her eyes and through prayer and a swirling mixture of: fear, dread, hope, faith, and more prayers our investigator passed the interview and is continuing down the path to enter the waters of baptism. Woooo!!!! From this situation I learned three important and very humbling and enlightening lessons:
1- Communication is vital
2- We baptize 8 year olds into the church, they understand a lot but knowledge and conversion is a lifelong pursuit
3- Sometimes all you can do is pray, it's in His hands
My prayer throughout the whole ordeal was simple "Please help me not to place blame on anyone, no matter what the outcome might be" if he was to turn back and not want to be baptized or have anything to do with the church and hate us I pleaded to be able to accept his agency and not place blame on anyone including myself and/or Heavenly Father. I sat there thinking about how all I wanted was to talk to my mom or my best friend but that's just not realistic anymore I needed to talk to my Father who is becoming my best friend. Super humbling... super enlightening
We have been doing SO much tracting this week and trying to share the Prince of Peace video with as many people as possible. We were given 75 pass along cards to have handed out to 75 people by Easter. We only have about 15 left, it's been awesome. One day this week we did 8 hours of tracting and visiting with people. The sun was out, the experiences were great, and I have a faint tan line on my feet from my shoes... bring on those missionary tan lines I have heard so much about!!!! There was one day I want to specifically share about that really humbled me. We had been tracting through an appartment complex and hadn't had too much success. There was another street across town we had wanted for try and follow up with some people on so we headed out over there. As we were pulling out of the parking lot I had the feeling to go back and try the lower building. Unfortunately I ignored it and we drove to the other street... but Heavenly Father wasn't going to let me just shrug it off. I had that darn "First Prompting" talk by Elder Rasband pounding through my head, making me feel guilty and unsettled. We tried to follow up with the people we had planned, one yelled at us through the door, telling us to leave a card with our number on it (those always make me laugh:) the other was not there. And throught it all I still felt like we needed to go back to those appartments, the "what-if" situations that were playing through my mind were too much. We were walking back to the car and I turned to Hermana Jacobson and said "I'm really sorry but I feel like we need to go back to the appartments, specifically to the lower building" she was supportive and said that we should trust that feeling, so we went back. We parked the car next to the building, said a quick prayer, and hopped out just in time to see a woman and her son getting into their car, I had a moment of turmoil wondering if we needed to talk to them. Hermana Jacobson saved the day by being her cute friendly self and said "Hi! How are you doing today?" They said fine and told us that they were headed out to Walmart, then the lady looked directly at me and said, so who are you? I told her we were missionaries for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and that we were out sharing an Easter message about Jesus Christ and His role as our Prince of Peace. She responded by saying: "Well, do you have some pamphlets or reading material for me? I live at appartment 61 if you want to come back another day I'd love to sit down and talk to you just stop by anytime but knock on the door lightly because my nephew will probably be sleeping..." I was floored, it never ceases to amaze me when people don't even give you the chance to offer or commit them to something, they do it themselves. I think that Heavenly Father loves to surprise us that way, He likes to show us that we are instruments in His hands and that He truly is preparing people. It's humbling, but the story doesn't end there. We left this lady with our card and said we'd come back again... she got in her car and drove away, I felt the unsurity and guilt melt away knowing that we had returned and was so glad we did. But we were still there still outside of that very building I had felt like we needed to return to, so we decided to knock all of the doors in it. The first 6 doors remained closed, the seventh however was opened by a 19 year old girl that agreed to watch the Prince of Peace video with us. Hermana Jacobson and I seemed to really click with this girl and through a few questions and statements she opened up and shared how she had graduated high school, been homeless, and now finds herself working at McDonald's, engaged, and 24 weeks pregnant. We were able to talk to her and offer words of encouragement and talk about having a better relationship with Christ. I love talking about the painting of Christ standing outside of a door His hand reaching up knocking at it. I always love pointing out that there is no doorknob on the door because it is on our side, it is up to us to let Him in. I have shared it many times the past few weeks but no one ever really knew what painting I was talking about, but this girl did! It was so great and humbling! We left her our card and promised to come back this next week. We aren't exactly sure where her intent is but I have no doubt that we were supposed to talk to her. If anything we added a little more light to her day. That's our constant saying around here. If you don't see much measureable success at least you added a "little more light" to their day that wouldn't have otherwise been there. Such a humbling thought.
I am so grateful to be out here in Tennessee learning so many things that I wouldn't have learned without being here at this time. I know that no matter how many times we fall short, or the natural man gets in the way, or we just flat out have a miscommunication that it never is extreme enough to get in the way of Heavenly Father's will. He is merciful and His son provides the way to forgiveness and the way back home. I am grateful for Christ and for the opportunity I have to find Him and get to know Him better and add "a little more light" into my own life as I not only read His words and the words of His prophets but also as I do His work and try to follow in His footsteps. The journey is not easy, but His never was. I love being a missionary, I LOVE adding "a little more light" into the lives of others. I love this Church and I love my Prince of Peace.
As we get closer to Easter Sunday I would invite each of you to find one way to add "a little more light" into someone else's day and do it. I promise it will help humble you and help you see the Savior a little more clearly.
He is always there, knocking at the door, let Him in and strive to help others do the same!
Happy almost Easter y'all! Decorate an easter egg for me and send a pic :)
Love,
Hermana Hall
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Sights and hopefully no Sounds of spring.... Tennessee style |
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