Let me elaborate. I've come to realize why missionaries fail at times to acknowledge, or maybe accurately describe how hard it is to be out here. How brutal, difficult, downright miserable it is at times. Well, it's because they talk about it AFTER the fact. After it is all over, after they've boarded the plane, waved goodbye to their mission, traveled the distance, and ridden the escalator down to their waiting families. That's when it all becomes worth it. There is the beauty because of the pain. The pain is there, it still happened... however it is drowned in the beauty that results from it... Like child birth... I'm obviously no expert, but I remember in Child Development learning about how the body literally begins to forget the pain of childbirth once the baby is born, the pain fades. Swallowed up in the joy of a child... the beauty of life. Missionaries forget about the pain because they've come to a knowledge and full view of the beauty that resulted from the pain and trials.
Here's another one. Somehow in this world we are living in we have begun to look at people and think "Oh they are just so perfect I want to be just like them!" We look at where they are, not where they've been. I'm entirely guilty of it. Just this past week my eyes were opened as I caught a broader glimpse into the life of a couple in the ward here in Greeneville. They are just the sweetest elderly couple, they call each other mama and papa with the same intonation of voice as the Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus on that old Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer movie. He even laughs like the Santa! Ugh they are so sweet. They drive 4 hours weekly to the Columbia, South Carolina temple to be ordinance workers, and they are amazing member missionaries. Yet I learned that it hasn't always been like that. He as a young adult had addictions that controlled his life, he walked a long road to recovery and says he DEPENDS on the temple to battle the temptations he continues to have even now over 30 years later. He and his sweet bride have experienced a lot of pain but also see a lot of beauty in their lives. How often do we as outsiders only pay attention to the beauty and neglect that pain and sorrow are universal? No one is exempt. If you are going to have one you are going to have the other. Now I'm not saying we should focus on the hard and the pain just acknowledge it more than we do.
This past week has been painful at times and beautiful at others. There has been an extra dose of drama made possible by investigators, ward members, and other missionaries. We have been run pretty ragged trying to keep up. But you know what, amongst all of the pain and disappointment there have been some incredible beauties. Here are three.
One of our investigators entered the waters of baptism on Saturday and the spirit that was present as she stepped down and was baptized by her husband of two weeks was so sweet and so very pure. It healed hearts torn by uncertainty and family drama. It didn't even matter that the water heater wasn't working and so the water was a crisp 70 degrees, or that the drain was faulty and so it was a race to beat the water level as it dropped. None of that pain or drama mattered because it was all swallowed up in the beauty of repentance and the cleansing effect of the Holy Ghost.
Two of our meetings this week were so on point, one was a leadership conference where we were introduced to the new implementation of Facebook that our mission has now been authorized to use. President Pickett talked about a nearby mission that took 9 hours to train and set up rules and exact regulations for as many different scenarios as could be thought up. Although it may be effective for some, the Tennesee Knoxville Mission isn't going to have any extraneous rules outside of the guidelines established by the First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. I found it interesting that we didn't spend more than 45 minutes talking about specifics regarding Facebook. President Pickett seems to be of the mindset that we need to as missionaries figure out how to best use Facebook in our missionary work because these social media habits are not just going to be for our 18 months or 2 years, they are life long skills and habits. Although there is much drama, heartache, and downright garbage online I find it very inspiring and honestly beautiful that the Lord in His infinite wisdom uses whatever medium man concocts as popular and the world distorts to further the work of salvation. Who knew that Facebook could be a way for us as missionaries to find members and investigators who have dropped off the grid? That it can be a means of publishing our testimonies and sharing beliefs? The Lord did. That's why we have it. How is the gospel going to "visit every clime and sweep every country?" By utilizing the internet we can overrun the pains of comparison and corruption and overall evils of online and instead flood the web with goodness and light and beauty of the gospel. We will contribute to the hastening of His work. In His way. By His power. Always.
In a matter of three full proselytizing days we were still able to meet our goal of 10 new investigators which was remarkable and only possible because of the Lord. He knew where the people were that were ready to receive the message of the Restoration. The pain of wondering if we were going to make it, or doubting whether or not we had missed our chance was swept away in the beauty of the realization that this is His work and He will help us accomplish our goals as we put forth our faith and work miracles happen.
To close I want to share something I had recently reflected on that a brother in the ward put into words beautifull. In testimony meeting he got up and shared a few thoughts about the season of fall. He asked us to ponder about the question: why do the leaves change colors? He explained that when the cold hits leaves don't just immediately fall. They linger, they stay and are seem, they are beautiful. He then related this to us. When cold times hit we need to linger to change to be seen for the beauty that we have within us. What makes us beautiful? The same thing that makes us happy. Our testimonies of Jesus Christ and this His restored gospel. That makes us stand out, that is what will keep us from falling when the crisp frosts of life come to try to knock us down.
Even when the leaves do fall, because they do, and we will, it never is the end. You see, another Brother in our ward pointed out that everything God has ever created is meant to come back to life. Whether it be a tree that blooms in the spring, grows and turns green in the summer, turns colors in the fall, and lies dormant in the winter. Or us as His children, who grow up, grow old, fall, make mistakes, and die. We each live again through the sacrifice of our Savior, Jesus Christ. He who descended below all pain to bring forth the beauty of the resurrection and the hope of eternal life.
How grateful am I for Him. I know that Beauty is Pain, and that His Pain has been turned to Beauty, and I am eternally indebted.
Hope y'all have a blessed week!
My parting greeting is what an 86 year old man shouted to his wife over the pulpit: "Love you babe!"
Love you babes!!!!
Love,
Hermana Hall
P.S.
While reading this morning in Alma 49 in the first verse it says "And now it came to pass in the eleventh month of the nineteenth year on the tenth day of the month" 11-10... sounds familiar... THAT'S MY BIRTHDAY!!!! How cool is that?! My bday is in the Book of Mormon! And you know what happened on that day? The Lamanites come to battle against the Nephites at the city of Ammonihah which once was weak but had been rebuilt and fortified to the point that it COULD NOT be destroyed. I know in the past 11 and 1/2 months I have rebuilt my life and fortified my weak places to the point that I know I cannot be destroyed by the fiery darts of the adversary. So come what way, I'm ready for a new year of "trials, tests, and testimony" as well as memories, adventures, and laughter! Love y'all talk to you next week!!!
"FALL FOR JESUS... HE IS UNBE LEAF ABLE"
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