Where Is Your Heart?

Once upon a time I was a missionary sitting in the car on the way back from a meeting in Knoxville... I was keeping it pretty quiet and had a lot on my mind, the Elder who was driving noticed and asked what I was thinking about. I remember sighing and saying I was just being too hard on myself and expressed a couple frustrations and then he said something that will forever haunt me... "Sister Hall, where is your heart?"

Where is your heart?

That question forced me to analyze my desires and the root of what I was feeling and what I was feeling was selfish. Worried about what I was and wasn't doing, worried about what other people thought. Ultimately I was giving into Satan's lies, I was letting him surround my heart with doubt and insecurties and it felt gloomy and dark. Sometimes getting lost in our thoughts can make us feel really lost. My heart was not with Christ in those moments.


The amount of times I have heard some of these sweet southerners say: "I gave my heart to Jesus on (insert date)" is unreal... It's great to recognize specific times when you let Christ into your heart and life and have faith in Him however one of my all time favorite verses in the Book of Mormon poses the question "if ye have experienced a change of heart, and if ye have felt to sing the song of redeeming love, I would ask, CAN YE FEEL SO NOW?" (Alma 5:26) That day in the car I "wasn't feeling so now."


But we know the first step to repentance is recognition. Recognizing that there is a problem. After recognizing and pondering, I committed to act and be better. And I asked for help. If my companion noticed I was retreating into myself I asked her to say to me "Hey, get over yourself., where is your heart?" Day after day we both found reference after reference to questions about the heart over and over in the scriptures, conference talks, lessons in church, things people we met would say. We would ask each other, "Where is your heart?"


I have found the word heart several times in my patriarchal blessing and countless times in the scriptures. Time after time I have learned that our heart is all we can give to Christ, that is what He ultimately asks for "a broken heart and contrite spirit" humility and willingness to take His counsel and obey HIs commandments. HOWEVER, I have also learned  that this isn't just a one and done deal, this is a daily deal. Every day, many times a day we would do well to ask ourselves where our heart is. What is our motivation for doing what we are doing, choosing what we are choosing, or saying what we are saying. If it is a good motivation our heart is with Him, if it is a bad motivation our heart is with him, with Satan.

I am happier when my heart, my mind, and my feet are all in the same place looking ahead and moving forward with hope.

I am happiest when I am helping others have a change of heart. I know where my heart is when I am helping and serving others. I experience the deepest most lasting change of heart while serving others. Here are some examples of heart changes from this past week:

We had an incredible lesson this past week where we were bold with love. Our investigator has a major word of wisdom concern and was worried about the pain and suffering of quitting it for good. She said she would get baptized tomorrow if she could quit. We asked her why she wanted to get baptized, essentially where her heart was, and what part Christ had to play in her life. She talked about the love and appreciation she had for Him and how she wondered how Christ could have suffered they way that He did, how He could He have thought it was worth it. We testified that He knew and knows that she was and is worth it and that there were blessings in store. We talked about the night leading up to His suffering in the Garden of Gethsemane how He gathered with His apostles, His friends, how they sang hymns, partook of the sacrament, and learned from one another. We invited her to come to church this Sunday, to gather with the friends she has made in the ward, to sing hymns, and partake of the sacament, to remember Christ. And that through her suffering of quitting she would more than ever before be able to relate to Christ and His suffering. She agreed, she committed, she came, and she is quitting. She is learning where her heart is and giving it daily to Him, she feels so now.

My heart was overjoyed when we were able to go on power-ups with a companionship in a neighboring area and help them learn how to better utilitze their area books and go see people who have already had contact with missionaries. We basically invited them to go and examine people's hearts, if they were in the condition to accept their contact and learn more then great, if not then prayerfully drop or delete their records and allow time and the Lord to soften their hearts. The sisters called us the next day and told us that they had begun to make visits, calls and texts to some of these former investigators and they had a woman call them right back and say that she had investigated the church 20 years ago but her husband wouldn't allow her to be baptized, she said and I quote "I think his HEART IS SOFTENED now and he will let me" the sisters once took the opportunity to once again set her on date along with her grandson she is raising. Where was her heart? It was being prepared for those sisters, she is ready, she "feels so now." Sister Horman and I were over the moon excited for these sisters seriously jumping up and down screaming, because they had worked hard and our counsel had helped them have success. We experienced what Ammon meant when he said that his joy (and heart) was full when he thought of the success of his brethren (Alma 29).

I had a prompting to write a companion this week, my mom had sent me a coloring page that non-coincidentally said "Bless Your Heart" I wrote her a letter of encouragement and fun memories and sent it off. The very next day I receieved a letter from her in the mail and it nearly broke my heart, she had some big concerns and was going through some lonely trying times, all I could think of was how grateful I was that my heart was in the right place to receive a prompting and follow through and to help comfort and heal a broken and beaten heart.

Where is my heart?

My heart is right here in Maryville TN. I have heard people say "I gave them a piece of my heart" "they'lll always have a piece of my heart" or "I left a piece of my heart there." I always hated those sayings because I thought that makes it seem like your heart is broken with chunks missing. But the more I have thought about it I now picture it like a patchwork quilt you leave pieces of your heart around and people give you pieces of theirs and then... then, when you offer Christ your "broken heart" He pieces it all together and forms a better, stronger, happier heart; a better, stronger, happier you.

So yes, in a few short weeks as I head home I can safely say that pieces of my heart will stay, however, I feel like I have been given so many pieces of other's hearts and so much love that has been transformed into something so much better stronger and happier.

And so I ask all who read this...

Where is your heart?

Give it to Him, today, tomorrow, and forever.

I promise you will never regret it.

I love y'all with all of my heart!!!!

Love,
Hermana Hall