Because isn't that what we hear about all of the time and see in movies? The hero comes off the conqueror, they are doing alright then they fall, they hurt, they fight but they push through. They have that moment when they succeed and win, and it's inspiring and they are changed for the better and the powerful pump up music plays and you're inspired. I look at difficult situations and look for my comeback moment while thinking "one day this will all be worth it" and I'm right... but not completely. Because unlike what is in my head or what I have seen in movies OR (and this one is the kicker) what I have often heard in welcome home talks from returned missionaries is the "comeback story"... the MOMENT that "changed my mission..." that's what I get hung up on...
I have found I am wrong to think that a comeback comes in a moment. I am learning that it is a PROCESS. It is a JOURNEY not an event. Oh my goodness so many things in life and the gospel are processes/journeys:
Conversion
Studying
Praying
Having faith
Gaining knowledge
Repentance
Having a family
Remembering and renewing covenants
The Atonement
Having the Spirit with you
Going to the temple
Traveling
Learning to walk
Eating a meal
Getting ready in the morning
Enduring to the end
The list goes on and on! These aren't one time events, they aren't one moment, they are made up of many moments, and their effects are far reaching. They are PROCESSES!!!! Oh my goodness I am so humbled by this realization: I am literally getting "caught up in the moment" when really I am in the middle of a big and wonderful journey.
As I have searched, pondered, and prayed to better overcome this weakness I have been able to make some connections and remember some what I would call "haunting quotes...." you know how sometimes you hear and write down something and yet when you read it again and again you find you have a love/hate relationship with it? You love it because it is true yet you hate it because it is true? That's exactly what these are:
The very first piece of advice I received from Hermana Yauney when I first got to Tennessee, now over a month ago (how crazy is that?!) is to: "Start from where you're at." Wow that has struck me so hard and continues to be a constant and needed reminder, I can't run faster than I have strength, I can't learn everything at once, I can't win the battle until I fight. IT IS A PROCESS! IT IS A JOURNEY!
This one is credited to my wonderful mission president President Griffin:
"There is no comfort in the growth zone and no growth in the comfort zone."
Oh how I love/hate this one! Change is anything but comfortable, humility is not comfortable, missions are not comfortable, Christ's life was not comfortable. Yet the result from all of those is growth, more than we can possibly imagine. There again both change and growth are what??? PROCESSES!
"I am the Gardener here and I know what I want you to be,"
When we tract we try to choose a specific message to share, much like a "baiting question/statement" in an essay we try to have something that gets peoples' attention, that relates to all, that keeps the door open long enough to: have a discussion, share beliefs, teach a mini lesson, make some commitments, say a prayer, and hopefully set up a return appointment. And because having a tablet is SUCH a blessing we have chosen a Mormon Message called "The Will of God" to be our tracting message. I won't take the time to summarize it but would definitely recommend that y'all go look it up, it's so good and so applicable to everyone! The other day was rough but we pulled up that video and watched it in the car, Hermana Yauney told me that "sometimes we have to take our own lessons" I definitely needed to take that one. The gospel is so true, it's for everyone and Heavenly Father is so good, oh so very good. He is the guide on our JOURNEY, and the overseer of the PROCESS of life. He truly is the Gardener.
I am so grateful for the lessons He is teaching me, that everything is a process, I am on a journey,and that although it may be hard to see sometimes... I am moving forward. I am learning that it takes time, that it might not be comfortable but most importantly that HE KNOWS BEST. I can honestly say that I wouldn't be out here if I thought that He didn't think I could do it. I am grateful that He is able to take this time to "cut me down" so that He can build me up, because He is the Gardener here. He knows what He wants me to be. So I'll let Him. Every day I'll give Him a little bit more of my will, knowing that it is truly all I have to give Him and trusting that He can do so much more with it than I can.
I wish you all the best in your comeback JOURNEYS and hope that everytime you feel cut down you look to the Gardener and remember that He knows what He wants you to be. It's a process but the very best of journeys.
Love and pray for y'all!
Love,
Hermana Hall
PS
Real quick missionaries are ALL ABOUT follow-ups so here are some peaches and pits from the week:
PIT: we had to drop our investigator with a baptismal date because he no longer remembers us, the church, or where he is (hence the whole theme of this email, about overcoming hard things)
PIT: Gospel Principles class continues to be Gospel Deep Doctrine That Doesn't Matter. This week was on the Creation... I'll let you just imagine how things escalated... from titles of God and Christ to teaching monkeys sign language, I joke that I walk out of there with a new stomach ulcer every week.
PEACH: I ate Thai soup with squid juice as a main ingredient that was pretty good actually.
PIT: We cannot get a hold of and set up appointments with two of our most promising investigators.
PEACH: We found out our Bishop has a lake near his house and his kids love fishing!!!!!!
PEACH: Had interviews with President that were AWESOME! Love that man!
PEACH: Got a yumilicious blackberry shake at an apparently very southern very well known fast food place called Steak N' Shake
PEACH: HUGE SHOUT OUT TO ALL THE LOVELY PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN SENDING ME PACKAGES AND LETTERS AND CARDS AND EMAILS!!! I APPRECIATE Y'ALL OH SO VERY MUCH! YOU MAKE A TENNESSEEAN MISSIONARY'S DAY DO NOT FORGET OR DOUBT IT, NO SIR!!!!
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